Explanation please!

After much soul searching, many discussions with friends, I've decided to continue this story. I know that there are lots of folks reading this blog, and to those of you who read and forward so that others may learn, I thank you.  Whoever decided to hack my blog, don't think you can stop the inevitable. You can't change my mind. There will be new posts, I will continue to remind you of how and why my husband became ill and died. The story will not end until I am sure I have reached enough people, until I have made sure that his message is passed on.

There are many sources of information for people who are awaiting an organ transplant, there are many sites that help point you in the right direction, but each patient is different, each family different, and without personal experiences that need to be shared, no matter how painful, it will always be something that happens to others, not to YOU or YOUR LOVED ONES!

It has not been easy. In fact, it has been heart wrenching to remember my husband's illness, our fight to save his life, and then, his untimely death.

I have said in previous posts that the denials continue, to this day, and I wonder why? No, it will not bring him back, but perhaps it would help others to understand what happened and why! While it is true that we know the source of his infection, it has never been a subject for discussion nor prevention. That's sad! That's ridiculous! Yes, I suppose I have had to get over the searing anger and the disgust, it was counterproductive to my goal, but I am shocked at what has transpired in the last few months.

First, why would someone who had a very definitive role in a Canadian dialogue on transplantation try to hide the dates from me so I would not attend? Why? Canadians come to the US for health care services, and as a border city, we share a great deal of medical knowledge. So, while I may not even have spoken, I would have attended simply to hear what others had to say. To educate myself in the Canadian perspective. Yes, I know what was said, yes, I know what happened. Even though I did not attend!  Ultimately, I would think if there was nothing to hide, then he would have been forthcoming about what was going to transpire. I am in a quandry though....why the lies? Why the subterfuge? I'm aware that they also follow this blog. Are they afraid of the truth? Did they not think I would know the details?

There are no gray areas here. Black and white reality! Yes, I know what happened. As my husband would say, "Step up to the plate!" But then, they never did, did they?